Making the decision to have Toby put to sleep was difficult ..
Added 2023-10-01 17:40:25 +0000 UTCMaking the decision to have Toby put to sleep was difficult and necessary. The tumor had robbed him suddenly of his sight weeks ago and had taken the last of his personality. I knew we did absolutely everything we could for him from vet visits and specialists to ultrasounds and MRI. When we learned most of what was going on with him stemmed from the pituitary tumor we were fully invested making the appointment with the oncologist to proceed with CT scan and begin radiation treatments despite the $10-12k price tag…that didn’t even matter the ex and I wanted our boy. He was having trouble getting up on his own on slick floors and leaving him 5+hrs if he’s not able to get water would cause more damage. After speaking with the oncologist Wed about our concerns, she was hoping the steroid would offer some relief. She then said if the radiation treatment did help, it would be months if the tumor responded to the treatment at all. With those words I knew exactly what had to be done. Hardest part was waiting the two whole days knowing they were going to be his last and that my baby would be gone. After I moved out he was all I had. We spent so much time together. He was my everything…my running partner for years, paddle boarding partner, my best friend. I’m going to forever miss him. My aches so much🥺😭. I will get through this, but this one hurts more than any tragedy other than losing my mom. 😭😭😭😭😭. Thanks for being patient with me. I’m back at work tomorrow so I’ll be posting some pictures tomorrow. Honestly, the distraction of work helps me move forward, even if it’s just baby steps. Workouts also help with the dose of endorphin boosts. Thanks for Al that have been checking in on me, I just haven’t been in the best headspace to reply to messages yet. I sincerely hope you understand
