

Today I sucked a candy cane down to a VUR sharp point. Walked up to my sister and poked her in the neck with it quite assertively. She looked at me bewildered and very unreasonably, in my opinion, asked “what the actual f***?!” I censor, because I am a lady. While masterfully containing my amusement I responded “Emily, obviously it’s a candy pain. You really are quite dim” then ran away laughing like a lunatic. If you ever are wondering what Christmas with me is like. This. This is what it’s like. I am filled with tres hilariousnesosity. Bon appetite moi petite gargoyles.