Coming home from a trip today. I went to visit a friend I’ve..

Coming home from a trip today. I went to visit a friend I’ve known and dated in my younger years. I learned on this trip that I’ve changed a lot over the years. I’ve learned that even though I don’t like every individual person, in general, I like people. I need a partner who encourages me to be social and who can also be social on their own.

On this trip I learned that I’m marriage material and I need to take it seriously. That means I need to be aware that guys I date will consider me marriage material and I need to be responsible about which situations I spend time entertaining. I am a hopeless romantic and I don’t want to break anyone’s heart…which means I break A LOT of hearts. Being better at boundaries is always an area of improvement but I also need to start getting more comfortable with the marriage boundary in particular.

Doing OF, like a lot of girls, has made me wonder how it will affect me on the dating market. I used to get giddy every time a guy would mention marriage around me, feeling like I would surely have very few of these opportunities in my life especially after content. I’ve since learned that it hasn’t affected my standing in the dating market or the marriage market. It’s changed my perspective on what I want in a partner and in my future but it hasn’t hindered me from finding love and connection.

These days the topic of marriage has been scaring me because it’s been coming up a lot in dating for me. I thought it was a subject I wouldn’t have to think about for at least a few more years down the road. My career is taking off and so many dreams I’ve been dreaming about for my whole life are finally happening. It terrifies me to think about ending up with a partner who would be unsupportive, or potentially try to sabotage my success. Thinking about ending up with a partner who is anti social and would discourage me from networking in the tech/business community also scares me.

I’m excited to continue my dating journey. I’m not going to let one-off bad experiences distract me from the overall joy that I’m experiencing in my life right now. I’ve also never used Onlyfans as my relationship blog before so make sure to like this post if you got all the way to the end!