People have been asking me what happened with my crush. He f..

People have been asking me what happened with my crush. He felt the same way and agreed to date me. He even set rules of not fucking each other’s friends and if you fucked other guys (for filming) let’s not make the other find out. But on day two he got high, which I didn’t know he did, and got lost for the remainder of the 3 days and won’t come near me but fucked everyone else. But easy to forgive he’s going through stuff and I just wanted him safe. But he had changed.

Anyway this isn’t about him. One of my close confidants who’s a friend I partner with to top bottoms in my films was very supportive when I discussed my crush and how I’ll ask him out. He gave good advice. My friend often tells me he loves me. We’re close. Like deep friendship love as he’s married to a guy. Anyway my crush as I said said yes to me. Imagine how my world imploded when I saw from the balcony my boy, who was very high, was in this friends room. I raced up there to find out they were about to film!!! I told my friend “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??? WHAT!!!! You know how I feel about him!!! We’re building something. I DO NOT WANT YOU INSIDE MY BOY!!!!!!!!”

I was raging with anger but had to control myself because as a black man if you dare show feelings of anger when angry you’re called scary, violent and aggressive. My friend said “i don’t have feelings for him it’s just work” Clearly meaning my boy was just a hole to him. I said to him “sitting over there is your husband how would you feel if I fucked him?” Look on his face told me he knew it was wrong. He was so shocked when I walked into the room. So he knew it was wrong. Had been caught.

I told my boy that was a friend of mine who knew about us but my boy was so high nothing of reality was registering. I left. Guess what? my friend fucked my boy and that destroyed everything.

It’s the one time I have ever wished I was white so I could beat him to hell. But as a black man I can’t do that. I wish I was in Britain I would have been able to but I was mindful I was in a foreign country. But I promise I have stuff planned for him. It’s the cruelty that I don’t get but he’s just an empty desperate man so he has no morals and gets off with stuff like this. But no one gets away with it, I’ll make sure he doesn’t.