It's been 7 months since my last depressive episode. I usua..
Added 2023-09-13 10:58:23 +0000 UTCIt's been 7 months since my last depressive episode.
I usually feel this way, and for the past month I have felt that this moment would soon come.
There is no way to prepare for it.
Depression hits me with such force that one day I wake up and suddenly lose interest and pleasure in everything. I have unbearable difficulty in functioning on a daily basis. I don't even have the strength to take a shower.
I'm not interested in my family or friends. I feel only despair and emptiness. I'm afraid for my future and don't see any point in it. I avoid contact with anyone. If I eat, it's always something unhealthy, burgers, pizza, bread, sometimes I even drink alcоhol and dr*gs.
Periods of depression are always very destructive for me. This is a heavy and oppressive feeling that mainly affects my freedom, it’s like being in a closed place and not being able to get out of it, although your heart really wants to, but something in your mind gives you the feeling that it’s too difficult and you have I don’t have the strength for this.
I feel a sense of paranoia, anxiety, with no rational explanation to calm me down. Sleep disturbances, deep loneliness and the feeling that I have no chance of a normal life set in.
Today I feel better, so I can write this text.
I even went to my first driving lesson at a driving school. Last week I said I was sick. Because I understood that getting behind the wheel now would be very difficult.
I don't know how long this period will last. I never know. But I really hope that I will be back to normal soon.
How are you doing?
