Hello. I was finally able to finish this text. It is difficu..
Added 2022-12-01 17:25:22 +0000 UTCHello. I was finally able to finish this text. It is difficult to write about something now, because there is a chaos of thoughts in my head.
I constantly rush between the state: “do not give up, everything will be fine, this is just such a period. Any growth, personal, creative or spiritual, always goes through suffering. You need it now. Just let it go, don't block it." And Between the state of complete, total frustration.
I isolated myself from everyone. I draw a lot and learning, do exercises in the morning, meditate every day, go to stretching training, and think a lot. Maybe it's some kind of retreat. I dont know. Because sometimes it seems to me that I inspire myself with this, that I just feel bad.
I do not understand.
All this is influenced by many factors and situations in my life. I can't tell about everything yet.
But I seem to be watching myself from the side. And I noticed in myself a feeling of devaluation of myself. Now, sitting here alone with myself, I seem to clearly illuminate this for myself.
Every day I do a lot of work towards my goal, if not a lot, then at least one small step towards it every day. But it's not enough for me. I feel like I'm not doing enough. I feel like I'm not productive.
I do too little to reach my goal.
Or maybe I just can't wait? And I get upset because I don't see the result? it is impossible to get everything at once, at least in my case.Or is it just not mine, and therefore does not come out?
I don't understand, I'm confused myself.
