Hello guys! I wanted to tell you about the painting. Althoug..

Hello guys! I wanted to tell you about the painting. Although this text will have little to do with the painting . It's more about my dad…

I noticed that every time I think about my father or when we talk on the phone, some time later or on the same day, I unconsciously draw pics of black holes. It is very interesting. I began to analyze this note. Maybe it's because I remember very vaguely one memory of watching a movie about space together with my dad.

My relationship with my father is not very good. Because he is a very complex person. We are very different with him and it's hard for me to communicate with him. I think for him communicat with me too. Of course I love him, but in my own way. It may seem to someone from the outside that this is not so. But I dedicate most of my paintings to him. I wonder if he would like it if he knew?
I have a lot of resentment towards him. He almost did not take part in my upbringing, very rarely called me and rarely calls now.
I try talking to him about it. I said that I would like him to call me more often, he only nodded his head in understanding, but he never kept his promises. He also always liked to drink and I was also very upset.
We often argued over this. I don't know why my father is associated with black holes. He makes me feel that way…

Feelings of emptiness, misunderstanding, lack of attention, love and care. The feeling of a big sucking hole, into the abyss of my experiences. It's like a huge well. And I understand that some of my problems and feelings about this are projected onto other people who surround me, onto my relationship with them. But I don't understand how to work with it.

When I think about it, I immediately go to draw a black hole and sublimate my experiences there. and then I feel so calm and good ... And it works. Little by little these wounds heal. Maybe one day some black hole will be the last one?
This is such a strange story.

What kind of relationship do you have with your parents? is there now or were there?

By the way, if you want to support me and my art, write me in dm about details. I have some available arts for purchase 🤍