Living with bipolar disorder is when you work like a damn th..
Added 2021-10-09 17:04:39 +0000 UTCLiving with bipolar disorder is when you work like a damn thing for two weeks, obsessed with ideas and inspiration, and then you wake up and it all disappears.
Instead of inspiration, a frantic desire to die and the loss of the meaning of life. I’m already used to these mood swings, so I don’t do anything about it.
I'm just waiting for the next phase to be replaced by another.
Now I can describe my condition as the unbearable futility of being. I can't even get out of bed, I don't want to eat, I don't want to drink, I don't even want to talk to anyone. I can't even write posts, but I understand what is needed.
Every such day in the depressive phase is a huge work on yourself. I literally do everything through force, because I understand that soon it will pass and I will again fly around the city like a bee stung right in the ass. At such moments, life becomes unbearable. At such moments, I want to give up everything, go to the ends of the world, become a monk and meditate for 18 hours a day. I want to go into the forest and become an ascetic, send everything to hell.
I'm used to it, this is my life. But the worst thing is that I don't know how long it will last. I want to climb the walls from how lousy at heart.
Who are you today? A genius possessed by inspiration or a wanderer who has lost his meaning?
