Heyyyyyyy!!!!! I hope everyone has an amazing weekend! This piece j wanted to share with you guys first, I posted photos of it but not these for obvious reasons heheheh
After everything that happened with being flat out tricked, I needed to make something beautiful,that represents my emotions atm.
“Your love is a hammer and my heart is full of nails”
💖💖💖
Psych update! They raised my meds! I cannot tell you the amount of relief that has given me because one wasn’t working anymore to take the edge off my pain, and I’ve tried for months to tell him this and I guess my dad being there msde kt a no questions asked thing 😅 I have more pieces I will post here as well, I’m super hyped on them! What’s everyone doing this weekends? 🥰
You see first! Hehe newest stufff that’s ready n listed!
😎🥰 I hope everyone is having a dope…. Tuesday? Lol 😂 I have my psych tmrw and I’m def not looking forward to it lol idk what imma do if he doesn’t listen to me or MY DAD
Idk tho my dad like won’t leave until he does something for my pain lol def going to act very entitled and it’s gonna make me super uncomfortable like last time he was like “SHE NEEDS HER VALIUM” when they were fucking with me and not filling my script Bc of an insurance issue lmfao like thanksSSss DADDDDD makin me sound like a pill hed 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I mean I am right now I guess, lol Bc it’s saving my life, but as my pain progresses i need my dose to as well bitch 😂 lolol I wish I could say that like that 🤣
VLOG TIMEEE!!! this took me forever to edit together Bc I was rly high and broke it up into pieces to edit it lol but I wanna try to do at least like two or three of these a week! Everyday I wouldn’t have much to say cept show you guys new art hahaha which I will also start doing 😊 you guys see my art first before anyone else!
Also apologies for sounding like I mumble, at least that’s how it sounds tk me now comparing how I used to speak. My jaw is making it harder and harder to use my mouth to speak properly, and this video kinda just showed me how bad it’s gotten agh 😬
Sexy tease at the end, but most of this is just my life and what I don’t wanna share with the outside, cause it’s too exhausting when you know there’s people smiling at the fact you’re struggling. So thank you guys for watching if you did, I appreciate you all so much and I’ll never stop saying that ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🔥❤️🩹
Okay WHAT I CANT EVEN 🙈 thank you guys so so fucking much holy bawls I will be stocked for like a whole mf year at least!!!!! Wow 😯 I know a couple on here, but I also posted to my ig so if you did get one dm me so I can thank youuu and talk about makin you something art related in return or any of my xxx content 🥰😎🤓 see my last video slide! For what I just started working on 🤓 will take vid of the pieces I put crackle paste on before bed, show you the process!!!! It’s a whole art form of how you apply it so imma try a ton of diff ways 🥰
This means so much to me you guys, to feel like I am being cared about on a level that’s further than just sexual, it means more to me than I can word. ❤️🩹 stay toooooned I’ll be replying back to peeeeepl rn! 💖
YOU GUYS LAST NIGHT I FOUBD MY SECOND LOVE
i don’t need a boyfriend 😂😂 CRACKLE PASTE
i am blown away and never thought it would be this amazing or I would have tried sooner, but I cried the moment I started working on this piece and that happened to me the only other time when i stumbled across paint pouring for the first time haha so I know my body is telling me to listen to my heart and followwww this feeling, because I think I just opened up a whole new chapter for me. I love when thjngs come to a balance. Last month and the last week have been v v hard for me mentally and physically, so this to me.. how emotional it was for me to try this for the first time, that voided out all the bad things. I mean I still have a fucked is jaw and all that haha but it’s a step towards healing my heart that just got fucking stomped all over ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 there’s a SUPER huge sale rn on Amazon for it, they have 32 oz and a gallon which is like half the price of what I’ve seen everywhere 😯 if anyone wants to help out with this new found love of mine let me know if you do purchase any and I will send you a spicy personal thank you message 🥰🥲😎
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2VCQLZZY4RIOP?ref_=wl_share
I can never have enough of it so every single ounce of this shit I will appreciate whole heartedly and use 🥰 this is my first attempt! If you haven’t seen it on my IG hehe
OMG I just went out to the hugest jackpot of a goodwill EVER for clothes haha it’s right in college town, these are only thee things, the first shirt is on backwards but that’s how I will be dying and intending to wear or sell it 🤣 what colors should I do the Greyy one?? So many more to show you guys along with a ton of picture frames sl k can frame ink stuff! Really cool ones! I’m finally about to art for first time in weeks haha it’s just been editing and finishing pieces already done and editing some more 🤣
OOOO! And here is the link to my YouTube for the premiere tomorrow! It’s at 12:30pm EST, I’m super stoked cause I totally rocked the voice over somehow during all this shit lolol i hopeee you guys can come join meeeee! It’s gonna be live chat premiere 😘
https://youtube.com/c/ViralFlowArt
Ahhhhh morning! Some pics from bed while I’m trying to wake up🖤 I need to like stop crying so I can put on makeup lmfao my eyes are swollen as fuckkkkk 😭
Everything going on has prob made last month the most challenging for me mentally and physically, I have been almost a year sober and didn’t even crave booze at all during this shit, everything collapsing at once lol that’s how it goes always 😅 it can’t be one thing EVERYTHING MUST GET WORSE 🤣🤣🤣 so I’m really really proud of myself for not relapsing, this is the longest I’ve EVER gone since I started drinking when I was 16 lol fuck 🙈
Thank youuuu so much everyone who wanted to come join here, and be a part of my more personal life. I’ll be posting today all content available I have EVER LOL bout to tackle organizing my 3tb kn my google drive to get it on the external 😅😅😅 I have 200 videos NOT EDITED Just SITTING for YouTube ugh 😂😂 if I edited them I would never have time to art 😅
I hope everyone has a good weekend!!! I am going to try to start to heal from the mental fuckery I was put through for the past two months, it finally hit me yesterday how I was basically fuxking used as a jerk off tool (I know that was my job but that’s the exact reason I am so upset) to form an emotional connection with someone while having an agenda with them is so disgusting to me cause idc about sex anymore or anything super physical, camming has turned me into a stone man 😂 but I was felt to be able to open up, be vulnerable,. The girlfriend put her profile public and legit he is her WORLD she has absolutely nothing except him. It’s pretty innnnsane how this was kept from me because their whole relationship is put out on display, just on private profiles. And he hates the relationship he’s in, she had zero idea, and zero respect for herself to stay with him, but that ain’t my problem anymore . I felt bad but now I don’t, they were LIVING TOGRTHER when I sent him two pieces of art, which she told me he’s thrown out (it was probably her) I didn’t hear back from him for two days after he supposedly got the cross, which was the first red flag. I’m so upset that I sent him things that meant something to me and absolutely was all a lie to him 😔 tk hear they got thrown out tho is another level of violating feels that really REAaallyyy hurt, considering he tricked me and hurt ME.
goddamnit. I just want me art back 😢 lol
This is a huge update, wanted to show you the write up tho Bc lol. This dude was such an ASSHOLE to my dad holy shit, but I got answers and I’m honestly scared as fuck 🥺 the first surgery or after I have braces for half a year? 🤣 ew it’s soooo gnarly sounding and my roommate made it worse but they basically take your top jaw and detach it from your skull to reposition it so I’m like about to hurl just typing it. You peepl that are like “I thought she loved gore blahblahbhh” dude no I can’t even with what has to be done now I’m going to fucking diieeee
And need another surgery to fix the gnarly overbite I guess I’ve had since I was like 10, something should have been done bout it? That’s prob why he was big douchey to my dad Lol legit what the fucj why didn’t that get taken care of? My parents were aware of my well being n shjt as far as I can remember. But my dad was kinda trying to play the denial card and started to get entitled when it came down to the bill being like fuxking $600, and then got in a fuckkng argument of just both of them acting like entitled fuck bags, the surgeon just was like “JUST ZERO OUT THE BILL U GOT A FREEBIE” Looooool so no payment but jfc 😒😒
I wish I took pics of the X-rayzzzz. My fuckin piercings and gauges were innit 😂😂 had to retake the X-ray Bc my jewelry but it would NOT EVEN come out even w pliers 😂 but I had moved the first time and he couldn’t get a good reading
But the second one, yeah he is retiring and won’t do the surgery. I don’t want him to Bc his bedside manner and personality is super fuckkng asshole so don’t want him cutting into my face lol but I got referral to a surgeon that he apparently studied his technique, so the dudes better anyways haha he’s just in mf Texas 😔🤣🤣🤣
But he said this is going to be 100,000$ and I can’t fuckkng even with trying to process that, like
What ⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️
imma send you guys something to your inbox if you didn’t get the pics I sent today from tipping n being awesome 🌶 🥰🙂🤣 thank ylu 🤍🖤
I took these yesterday to post but right after that, I had found out the person I was into for a few months has had a double life, a girlfriend, and on top of it a fucking ra*ist
Through alll of this I was sober so my feelings and everything felt real, so I can’t even trust myself anymore I feel. I keep attracting such wild fucking narcissistic people, my heart is too big and I have so much love in me, and they see that and prey on it.. this hurt more than my literal physical pain I’m in everyday. The lie was so good, it was starting to pull me out of this self esteem pit I’ve been in. Now I’m right back in it. But I’m not leaving you guys or disappearing this time around. Literally like clockwork this happened exactly a year after I was fucked over by another narcissist, and the year before that.
I keep the details of things on here only, but the way I found out involves him r**ing a girl I’ve been online friends with. It happened ten years ago and To hear that before the part about him having a girlfriend just realllyyy fucked me up. If I were to somehow get in a relationship with this dude and then find that out, it would be so much worse. I’m glad this happened as soon as it did but I the intensity in which the happiness came into my life and got ripped away from me just as fast, how much I opened up and felt that I could. I’m super mad at myself. Fuck.
I have an mri to get to rn but just wanted to say hi with my bare face ❤️🩹I hope everyone had a fun weekenddddd or relaxing or both heh
it’s been rough mentally over here and I think ig shadow banned me because I listed too many stories of pieces I had made, so now I’m like uhhhh lol 😢
Been trying to keep my confidence at the same time while being ignored by someone who has mutual feels for me, or said they did. I will make a better post when I get back 🤍🤍🤍
Sending all the hugs to everyone ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
I adorn you with a pre shower/shave pics that I was gonna take an after shave photo set and send as a ppv message but I’m DEAD 😵 since Tuesday I’ve been working bout 18-20 hrs a day from the moment I woke up to bedtime, doc appointments jn begween, my dad calling everyday for at least two hours just to talk, AND LOOK AT WHAT I GOT DONE! 30 new pieces uploaded! I’ve been in a lot of pain so when I have flare ups with it I have to stay distracted 😅
Viralflowart.bigcartel.com
(20% off code for peepl here only is FLASHLIVE)
one thing has sold so far and it makes me feel like all this work I did was pointless lol being your own boss is super insane, having to work for free essentially until someone buys something. I have to edit this video for the collab all day today now 😴
This goal is just because, it would at least cover the cost of materials of me making stuff in case none of it sells and make that pointless feeling a little better haha ❤️🩹 I’m still going to make the smokin video for people that tipped, just haven’t had time to breathe but thank you so so much, and if you haven’t gotten a reply back yet I promise I’m not ignoring you and will get back to you as soon as I possibly can! Just wanted to keep everyone in the loop while I had a moment 🥰🥰🥰
I can’t even with the goal I had for this month!!!! we smashed getting back to the top 5%!!!!, we at like 3.8% now like WUUTTTTT I appreciate you guys from the bottom of my heart 🥲
Hehe got new specks for the 29928382th time 🤣🤣 and some finished pieces you guys get to see first!!! 😎😎😎😎 man, this is prob the most busy month I’ve had since I started painting, there’s been a doctor appointment every single day since last Monday I’m exhausted 😴 trying v hard to keep up on here tho even if it’s just a small update like thisss, like I said I’m not goin to ever go rogue again ❤️🩹
I have a huge collab to edit and about 30 pieces to photograph edit and list all by Monday so I’m going to be drowning here for a bit. Send good vibes pls 😬 super nervous about this deadline for the collab, anything to make me smile would be so loved right now ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 I have to get back to everyone still I promise I will! Just haven’t had a time to breathe 😅 but you are important to me, all of you 🤍🤍🤍🤍
Wait for ittttt 😋😜 heh a couple shirts I dyed! Tank was all black, so I bleached out whatever Bc even tho it’s 100% cotton there’s 284744833939 kinds of cotton (idk how many rly but a lot lmfao) and alot of them rly don’t color remove or bleach out so whatever that tank was made of I could only dye it v dark but it’s hawt 🤓 heh and the pullover is pretti cute now too 😏 I’ll be sending a vid and/or photos to your guyss inbox of all of the clothes I did up! Ppl that got the before set, thank you so much 🥰 it’ll be cool to see the before/afters cause they all had a makeover 😛
I hope you guys have had a good day 🤍 I’m sorry this was all I could muster up to post today haha, it’s been a rly hard day. That was a stupid pointless appointment and nothing got accomplished, except me getting gaslighted by my psych when I called them lmfao I love doctors 🙃😂 I guess only 5% of ppl who have tmj need this surgery so doctors don’t ever see someone who has a case as severe, and don’t give me proper treatment, but I will have meds tmrw and be able to get everything done that I’ve been kinda sitting on bc it’s been a struggle 😫
Gonna mix paint rn and will be making a collab video for YouTube with a bunch of artists soon! Super stressed bout it cause I’m such a perfectionist and that’s why I don’t YouTube lol 😆 but super excited tooooo!!! It’ll be feb 6th 🥰
I have an emergency appointment with the pain doc soon, my dad is coming with. I have been telling them for a couple months now multiple docs that my dosage isn’t helping anymore, the injections essentially made things feel worse, like more loose? Unhinged and backwards inside my head lol I can’t even describe it but it’s driving me insane
so I NEED someone to take me seriously, it’s hilarious I need my dad to come with lol fuck the medical system 😒😒😒
Just wanted to update you guys 🥰 I am all done with the clothes I made too I’m super stoked bout them and will show you guys first! ❣️❤️
Oooooof FUCK SOS YOU GUYS! 🤣 I just ran out of my 2tb storage plan on google and do not want to upgrade because they duplicate and back up everything so if anyone gets the hard drive on my wishlist, I’ll get you hard 😏😂😂😂 but I will send you all the things, prints, an art piece(s), any content you don’t have
I just need to store my stuff and start fresh so I can use apps again properly like drive, which I can’t even use atm and it has alllll my content lmfao 😭 and if anyone gets anything else at alllllll on here pls let me know and I will return the favor so good 🥰
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2VCQLZZY4RIOP?ref_=wl_share
Morningggggg!!!! Check your inbox soon 😋 Yesterday was insanely busy, I worked 20 hours straight on Friday hahahh ⚰️ (working to me means getting my hands on anything I possibly can to distract myself lol) I went on a mini shopping spree and got the CUTEST SHIT EVER 🤤 i spent all night color removing and dying them! Gonna try some white and red opaque textile acrylics on black and see if it shows up cause sone of the clothes I got even tho they say 100% cotton, theres 283883 different kinds of cotton and some of them just would not bleach our color remove the black, so I will report back! 😜 also we alllllnost reached last goal! Thank you everyone who chipped in, I saved the jointtt so I’ll be sending a video to everyone who tipped!!
When I smoke it 😎 you can still throw towards the last goal and you’ll get the video 🥰🥰🥰 how has everyones weekend beeeeeen!!!!
Heyyyyy you guyss ❤️🩹 how are youuuuu todayyy? Comment with your moooood 🤍 this goal is my weed bill 🙈😂 so if it’s met today/tomorrow I have a joint saved to smoke naked! 🤓🤓🤓 self medicating is so expensive but it’s extremely needed rn 😭
since yesterday morning my pain started to get more intense and this morning I woke up to it pretty much feeling the same as it’s always been 😔 still trying to be hopeful but they said I would feel a diff in 48 hrs and it just feels worse now? Like to chew, a good description I guess would be like comparing it to a dead motor, after five bites it just STOPS WORKING I can’t move it anymore. Feels like when you exert your limbs and lactic acid builds up and you like can’t move them anymore. Need to find some meal replacement solutions that don’t make me vomitttt bc of the texture lol
I hope everyone has an amazing Friday night! I just had therapy and cried a lot lol but I’m done with the disappearing acts on here, I rly have been enjoying interacting and posting and I hope you have beeen enjoying Too 🥲
Showing you guys this beast first before I list it because I am so so proud of it 🥲 I’ll make another post today, but I just wanted to update!
So, I woke up this morning and felt that my jaw kinda just feels the fucking same lol these injections were only to help with the swelling but the joint itself is dislocated forward so only diffference now is that I can hear it more when I move it, which is starting to drive me nuts again lol it’s probably where it was in October, which isn’t that long ago. But still the swelling I know went down ALOT, my pain doc yesterday said I won’t feel effect till like 48 hrs but it’s almost been that and she was afraid of these not working how they do for ppl cause I have a very severe case. 😔 pls send good vibes and stuff, I was counting on these to start functioning again, I was having too much pain everyday to get anything done (even tho it looks like I’m a powerhouse with art lol) my brain is so preoccupied with my jaw that I just want SOME space freed up to think about other things lololol
Oh! Abd Instagram reels! I’ll give you an insider on that shit 😂🤣 so I get paid now for making reels, allt of businesses do on there. Today marks the first day of the pay period and it works like a gap closing, the first few days are when I can earn the most. So I’ll be doing a makeup video today and I’ll upload the whole version to here
I know it’s probably boring as fuck to you 😂 but I post what I want hahahaha
Omg today was really really hard 😔 but amazing at the same time bc I already feel relief after getting the injections today (they said it would be twilight sedation but I was knocked the fuuuuuck out)
Like my jaw feels is in the position it was a year ago where it was less inflamed and I could hear it popping and the crushed glass noises n shit and I stopped being able to hear that at some point I think cause it was so fucking swolllen. I got a gnarly headache tho, the surgeon was extremely unprofessional and insensitive and literally made me feel bad for being in pain to put it short. I will be putting in a complaint and I NEVER do that, but the nurse told me other people have as well so he’s just a fuck bag 😡 legit told me I was ACTING STRANGE like when I was just crying balls, it was rude as shit. Remember, when people try saying “I’m sorry YOU…” or “I wasn’t trying to make you feel….” Or “I didn’t mean to” ITS A NARCISSISTIC APOLOGY run like hell from them people lol they won’t ever own up to their actions.
I can’t believe tho that were mutha fuckkn 4.5% right now tho WHAAAAAA I took some rly spicy pics for the occasion 🙈 that I will send to your inbox 😎 here’s a previewewwww hehehe but new subs check for an extra link as well! I will get to that in the am I promise 🤍
I’m super thankful for everyone who came and subbed, theres a lot of peeps i need to message and it just makes me rly happy that you wanna be a part of my (what I think it boring) life lolzlz thank uuuuuuuu 🤍❤️🩹❤️🩹🤍🤍
I will reply back to everyone in the am, I had a friend over all night n my brain is so moosh
These pics def do justice 🤣 besides the cocaine. I haven’t touched that shit in so long!!!! 💪
My day yesterday 🙂😚 planted a cute planter box of coleus and dusty Miller, no clue if they will survive bc repotting in winter is stupid as fuck 😹 but 🤞🤞
Omg you guys I’m rly shy feeling rn lmfao 😂 people that have joined THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart 🥲 there’s over double the peeps here now, so I’ll def be keeping consistency with this, so long as my pain doesn’t flare up, but even then I will still keep you guys in the loop 🤍 and speaking offfff!!! My insurance approved injections for my jaw!!! It’s only a temporary little bandaid to help with the inflammation all around the joint, and that’ll prob give me some huge relief, I’m hoping 🤞 if so, I honestly won’t know what to do with myself bc my brain has been so occupied by it for two years now especially, it’s like 70% of my thoughts and feels and it’s fucking exhausting so having more of my brain open for other things in my life def will be overwhelming feeling but in the best way ever 😹 and thinking about how after surgery and recovery will be it’s just unfathomable rn bc I don’t remember what it’s like to wake up not in pain haha I’m rly excited about these injections and I can’t wait to know if they help, I’ll be so much more ALIVeeee feeling, this shit has sucked all the energy out of me 😴 it’s nice to have you guys here because this is where I’ll prob be documenting most of my journey (emotionally/feels n stuff especially)
Thank you so much for being here, it rly means a lot to me. If you subbed just for sexual content only you’ll be disappointed lol but I have tons of it you can get 😉but I know most have just bc you like me for me and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that shit
Xoxo
I woke up feeling myself today, check your inbox soon if you wanna see the rest of this set! I also will be replying back to everyone shorty that has messaged me 🤍 now that I’ve introduced OF to my daily regimen again, it might take me a lil to reply bc OF doesn’t give me notifications and I’m 24/7 running around with my head chopped offf 🤣🤣🤣
It’s small and cute set I’ll be sending and it made me happy finally being able to create content and feel good about it! That’s a first in a long time 🥰
Uhmmm oh my gosh you guys 😯 in two days we went from 7.9% to 5.6% I CANT EVEN!!!!!!!! Thank you so much I want to cry 😭 my goal was 5% before the month ended and it’s so possible now! I’ve never rly gone for a rank goal (they always were disgustingly competitive and fucked up on my freecams haha) but it’s just a personal goal, and I never expected to be able to accomplish it but you guys made it happen, so closeeeeeeee 😍😍😍😍😍
If you just subbed/resubbed and didn’t get an email with a drive link pls msg me! I think I got everyone but let me know 🥰🥰🥰 here’s some shit pics, a couple pieces I did last night and a screenshot of my current rank bc youuuuuu guys made that happen 🥰 I’ll post an old school photo set soon
Xoxoxo
I have a few huge photo and video vaults, dating all the way back to 2011 when I was 19 and freshly cammmming creating tons of content 🤪😎
You can get every single vault of mine for a $200 tip (it’s a huge amount of GB but you’ll always have access to the content folders)
Idk how to separately price them 🤣 but if you want one dm me! We will figure it out 🥰
stripping out of my clothes bc fuck em 😅 I have to take my car again to the shop today, it needs to pass emissions and ofc the check engine code is misfiring lol 😂 what are you guys doing today! Omg and thank you so much everyone who came from yesterday! I hope you guys got my message and if you’ll did not get a link from me and you just subbed/resubbed for the first time in awhile send me a message! I hope I got everyone tho 🥲🥲🥲😘😘
In b4 everyone else with TOPLESS TIMELAPSES 🤣😎😎😎😎😎😎😎 bruh I hit a jackpot idea baahahahah I will be using this platform to do my art, but topless/naked when it’s somethin big here’s a little ink piece I did!!! Gonna mount it and resin it ❤️🔥
Omg haiiiii new peeeeeepl! And I see some familiars come back 🥰🥰🥰 check your inbox soon! it’s of a months worth of content from here (I have folders of every month from dec 2019-January 2021 when I set my posts to expire within 30 days, hence why it looks like I don’t have a lot of content haha I stopped expiring posts because that was a lot of work 😭🤣)
But each folder is $10 or you can get em all for a $120 tip 😻 but all the recent subs imma be sending you one rn 🥰
Like I said in my post on IG and twatter, this is my safe place where I share the parts of me I don’t want social media to rly see because they don’t deserve it lol 😆 from my good times and my hardships n in between, I definitely open up on here bc i feel like I can. Thank you guys so much for allowing me that feeling.
Xoxo
Just sent a msg to your inbox 😋 I’m slowly getting my confidence back 💕 bare with me heh
I just made a promotion for new peeps so if you see this and you’re new HAIIII!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰 there’s way more content available to you guys than what you see here, so check your inbox for a hello message hehe 😘
Shitty pics while watching new season of euphoria
Which is AMAZING and I’m v lucky to not have experienced that part of school lmfaoo
Also HUGE NEWS! well not like it would matter here but I take PayPalllll and pay later now for my webshop! If you qualify you can pay in installments! I rly hope this helps to pick things up again, the feeling of discouraged is like at an all time high hah
