People around here like videos of pretty ladies playing with..
People around here like videos of pretty ladies playing with balls in bathtubs, right? (Sorry it's a little blurry.)
2020-08-10 16:00:56 +0000 UTC View PostPeople around here like videos of pretty ladies playing with balls in bathtubs, right? (Sorry it's a little blurry.)
2020-08-10 16:00:56 +0000 UTC View PostThose of you who are content creators on here, would you want me to post pictures of your cats alongside a link to your profiles? No exchange of money would be necessary at all, just something I figured we could do here.
2020-08-07 06:50:24 +0000 UTC View PostI absolutely did NOT just step on the computer's power button. I just happened to be here and the computer just started shutting down. These accusations are baseless and defamatory, and I will not stand for it!
2020-08-03 16:01:15 +0000 UTC View PostI can't sleep unless I'm touching one of my humans.
2020-07-27 16:00:45 +0000 UTC View PostMy human sat down. Now he must pay the Cheek Scritches Tax.
2020-07-06 16:01:00 +0000 UTC View PostMy human lost his job yesterday, due to his allergies convincing his boss that he has COVID-19 despite testing negative for it. He's pretty upset right now, but it just means he has more time to do the most important job anyone could have--petting me!
2020-07-01 22:26:45 +0000 UTC View PostThere are two approved ways to sleep. Which do you prefer?
2020-06-29 16:01:36 +0000 UTC View PostI hear videos of taking a bath are popular here.
2020-06-22 16:00:46 +0000 UTC View PostI sat here for about 5 minutes like this before the male human realized I was posing for the camera. Humans can be SO dense.
2020-06-15 16:00:53 +0000 UTC View PostSometimes I mash my face into a human's hand and demand that they simply hold it for a while, like some kind of xenomorph face hugger.
2020-06-08 16:01:05 +0000 UTC View PostIt's important to practice yoga while you sleep.
2020-06-07 19:03:30 +0000 UTC View PostPaint me like one of your French girls.
2020-06-01 16:00:32 +0000 UTC View PostJust a quick post to let everyone know that my humans, my brother, and I are all okay. We're in a different part of Minnesota from the Minneapolis riots, and so far our town just has peaceful protesting. My human has friends and family that live and work right in the middle of where everything is happening, but so far they are all safe.
2020-05-30 23:23:13 +0000 UTC View PostI am a master of stealth. No foot shall be safe!
2020-05-25 16:00:53 +0000 UTC View PostSometimes my brother likes to sleep the way humans do.
2020-05-18 16:00:23 +0000 UTC View PostMy human went to work for the first time since quarantine began, just as I was getting used to him being home all day! How dare he leave?! I missed him! I thought he was going to be gone forever!
2020-05-16 21:40:17 +0000 UTC View PostMy humans are clearly confused. Here they have this incredibly regal throne from which I can look down upon all my faithful subjects, yet they insist on desecrating it by using it as a litter box! If these pictures of me looking majestic on it get enough likes, maybe they'll see reason?
2020-05-11 16:04:12 +0000 UTC View PostI have established an even MORE impenetrable fortress!
2020-05-06 16:32:33 +0000 UTC View PostMay the Fourth be with you! Sadly I don't have any Star Wars stuff to pose with, but since I was a kitten I've helped my humans make their Dungeons and Dragons characters.
2020-05-04 16:00:47 +0000 UTC View PostA few of you wanted to know the story of how my brother and I met our humans, so I thought I should let you know with a few pictures of us together. (Sorry some of them are a little blurry. My brother doesn't like to sit still long enough for a camera to work.) My brother, Bubba, was rescued from a crazy human lady with several cats, all of whom were malnourished and neglected. In his particular case, he had severe infections in both of his eyes. One particularly wealthy human that volunteered at the shelter couldn't adopt him themselves because they had too many other cats, but they were willing to pay for his surgery. Unfortunately they could only save one of his eyes, and he is nearly blind in the other. But he is also extremely affectionate and loves everyone--humans, dogs, and even other cats... as long as they acknowledge that he's in charge. Which, I'm sorry to admit, but at 20 lbs of pure muscle, he pretty much always is. His favorite things are catnip and cuddling humans. Oh, and despite being basically blind he's even better than most cats at brutally murdering rodents, and loves to bring their mangled corpses to our humans. Also, my brother is openly gay. Despite being neutered, he will attempt to mount other cats... but only other males. He never tries that with me or any other female cats he meets. And thank god--that would be SO awkward. As for myself, I found my humans on the street in the fall of 2016. I saw them from across a street and ran up to them, rubbing against their ankles and begging for them to pet me and feed me. I had gone so long without food that my fur was short, so they didn't realize I was a Maine Coon like my brother until they took me in and gave me a good, grain-free diet. I have trouble remembering what my life was like before I adopted my humans, but from what they've been able to piece together they're pretty sure I was an abandoned Christmas kitten rather than being born on the streets, just because of how much I love people and how pretty I am. I'm also absolutely TERRIFIED of plastic bags, so they think I might have been thrown out in one. I also panic when my humans bring me outside unless my brother is with me, because unless he's there I worry that they're going to abandon me. Despite my lingering PTSD, though, I absolutely love my humans and insist on spending every waking moment with at least one of them. I have designated uses for my humans, too--the female human is the cuddle human, the male human is the play human. My favorite game is when the male human throws something from one side of the house to the other, and I chase after it almost too fast for his weak human eyes to see. For some reason he keeps calling the game "fetch" and keeps expecting me to bring whatever he threw back, but I prefer to flop on the ground next to it, maul it briefly, then stare at him until he comes over and throws it in the other direction. If there's anything else any of you want to know, feel free to ask!
2020-05-02 03:04:59 +0000 UTC View PostTHERE ARE BIRDS OUTSIDE! MY HUMAN IS TRYING TO GET ME TO STAY STILL SO HE CAN TAKE PICTURES! BUT I CAN'T! I MUST CHITTER AT THEM ALL! BUT THEY'RE ALL AT DIFFERENT WINDOWS! SO THE ONLY LOGICAL DECISION IS TO RUN AROUND LIKE A GODDAMN LUNATIC!
2020-04-28 16:27:36 +0000 UTC View PostThe humans finally obeyed my demands to go outside... but they put me in this horrible tor.ture device first! But for some reason they let my brother run free! So unfair! They claim it's because he's old and arthritic and won't run away, but I know the truth. It has nothing to do with the fact that I am perpetually terrified every moment I spend outdoors and bolt at the slightest unexpected sound. It's clearly because they fear my overwhelming majesty and have to contain it. Vengeance will be mine for this atrocity.
2020-04-27 16:00:37 +0000 UTC View PostLili here is the first human to pay tribute to your feline overlord. And, more importantly, she has a cat that is ALMOST as cute as I am. Thank her by subscribing to her, my minions! It's free for a month right now. https://onlyfans.com/lilidallass?rec=8492838
2020-04-26 01:14:24 +0000 UTC View PostHELP! I'M STUCK, AND THE HUMAN CAN'T SAVE ME BECAUSE HE'S LAUGHING TOO HARD!
2020-04-20 16:00:54 +0000 UTC View Post