Loooooook!! I tried to dual record but it just split the video up into two different ones 🤣 And I got new sunnies 😎😎😎😎 probably about 300 pairs I’ve gone through LOL that’s why I get $15 ones 🤣 Oh shit dude I have a gnarly inner stye in my eye too from old contact lenses, and j don’t have any new ones So this goal is if you wanna contribute to my eyes in any way 🤣🤣🤣🤣
2022-05-02 16:46:55 +0000 UTC View Post
Morninggggg!!!!!!! Omg I got all the shirts done I’ll post the photos here first of course 😇🥰🥰🥰 I got in a car accident yesterday and it was extremely lucky, the people I rear ended saw what happened, I was in the far right put my left signal on because I hate being jn the right lane, and I glance slightly the car behind me was riding my ass so I wanted tk get over but he just whipped from behind me into the lane I was already halfway in and either was gonna slide into that fucker or tap the people that stopped out of nowhere in front of me Since they saw what happens and it was a wreck less driver no citation was made But I hit a jeep cherokee so my hood got fucking smooshed and grill is slightly off What a fabulous way to start the worst month of my life every year lolololol I’m watching the depp trial right now with my best friend while I pack and ship! it’s live if you guys wanna watch! You might see my name in there hehe https://youtu.be/sK2BuMLvu6U I’m into law now LLOL DEAL WITH IT 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Next post I’ll show you my complex where my dad lives it’s rly awesome and pretty 🤩
2022-05-02 16:32:34 +0000 UTC View Post
Oh so many things to post here!!!! It’s Sunday which means I have five hrs to myself, the only time I have to myself living here, I’m a very huge alone time needing person, and when I don’t get it when I need it I snap and I don’t mean to lol but I can’t voice message anyone anymore bc he comes out thinking I’m talking to him so it’s been a struggle with maintaining communication with people 😔 but I’m trying 🥲 replying to everyone today and if I miss you it’s not on purpose so just message me again! Things get lost in the dms when I send mass messages haha How has everyone’s weekend been? I promise I’m not a machine, look at all the shirts j did in the past ten days bwhahahaha you guys get the first look!!! And will be first to be notified when they’re uploaded! Everyone here gets first dibs on all my art (sometimes I list things without saying anything I’ll get better at that lololol) I haven’t made anything new in awhile besides these shirts, my best friend and I have been so enveloped in the Johnny depp and amber heard case it’s fuckig WILD I never thought I would ever get into law and wanting to learn about it until I found a law tuber that j absolutely adored and now I’m like super jntk law stuff LOL 😂 SO MANY things I’ve developed an interest in After getting sober 🥳 Today is the first day of the hardest month, and I’m a very VERY transparent person so I don’t use this place to fake a happy face, i know mostly everyone on here is here for good intentions and it means a lot to me to be able to speak about my life to where I don’t feel scrutinized or under the microscope ❤️🩹❤️🩹 I ❤️ you guys so much 🥰 have to do alot of errands today and packing and shipping! Gonna try to get as much done as j can before I get permanently distracted when my alone time is up He’s only charging me $200 for rent so I can build up my savings and I have a life goal now, well it’s always been my life goal to move to Europe and I tried once but now that I know what I need to do and the process, I’ll go about it the right way this time haha I am so so deep into the war that’s happening too rn, and would love to go there and volunteer maybe teaching kids art or something to put smiles on faces, I can’t do physical labor but this is now my goal, I feel there’s a purpose For me, who wants to come with and help when it’s time? 🙂🙂🙂😎
2022-05-01 18:12:47 +0000 UTC View Post
HIIIIIII, some throwback pix for your mornin, circa like 2010 :P i cant EVEN with everything i did yesterday i had no time to even make another update, but I MADE FUCKING 19 SHIRTS LOL more adding to this when i get on my phone bc fuck this keyboard typos galoreee lmfao
2022-04-30 18:07:04 +0000 UTC View PostFuckkng UPDATEEEEEEEE!!! Cute tease and New plant hehe I fucking love begonia Rex 🥰 and painted a pot for my rubber plant🥳 I’ve been going through a bout of rly bad pain the past couple days, I can’t really tell why bc I just found out someone is talking shit about my personal things I say in here, found out from my best friend Whoever you are thank you for your money 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Idiot Lmfao Idc though who you are bc you’ve been at this for a decade now messaging every single person that comes in my life with shit to try to derail anything good in my life, didn’t work this time bro.. 🙃 I’m seeing my bff in late may! 🥰🥰 We got an air bnb and I would put a goal for it but none I’ve done have been successful this month 😬 I appreciate everyone who has contributed and helped support me in so many ways, my pain management and my art especially. I would to be able to afford that if it wasn’t for the help of posting here and feeling like there’s interest in what I post I rly appreciate it 🥲🥲🥲 I’ll do a better update when I’m more awake, I slept on my jaw wrong three nights ago and it has been giving me a non stop migraine 😔 typing this with one eye open lol sorry if there’s typos 😂 I’m not proofreading bahahah I heart you guys 😌 if you do wanna contribute to seeing my best friend, it would make my day 🥲🥲 I’m so scared for next month, so I’m just hoping that I’m able to still be active on here with positivity but yeah may is a struggle and it’s going to be weird being with my dad on this specific year, cause it’s pretty significant being ten years now without my mom, and the constant dismissal of what happened how we never talked about it or grieved together He likes to pretend things didn’t happen with like everything lol so I wonder if this will be the first time I will ever see him cry in my entire life 😬🥺 Omg I did SO MANY SHIRTS, 15 to be exact lol I have to dye them though and idk how I’m going to hahahaha all I have is chartreuse wine red grey and mint but there’s a hobby lobby like two blocks away so I’m impatiently waiting for it to open 😂🤣 will take noodz there LOL
2022-04-29 15:56:43 +0000 UTC View Post
Boobs and plants 😍😍😍😍 hehe moving lots inside but have to wait for the new rack to get hereeeeee I have a lot to update so I will do a vllg! Well not really a lot haha but just want to say hi and reply tk everyone fjnally, I also think the perpetuating problems I keep having is from the amount of shit I have in my phone (see second pic LOL) this literally is since February. ???? I did a dump before that of abojt 12k cause my phone just stopped working everything Lmfao and I couldn’t edit shit that’s starting to happen again so MEGA FUN 😂 iPhones are absolutely terrible with transferring large files and syncing without having to pay for their fuckkng service bc it won’t work trying to sync with other shit, unless any tech savvy people know how to fuckkng bulk transfer all of these things to my google drive??? That’s like my life library haha (10tb 😹😹😹) Have to do alot of plant care today but I slept on my jaw wrong and finally have been recovering from that awful pain, it’s like I slept on it when it was in the wrong place dislocated putting pressure and oh my goddddddddddd when i woke up i couldn’t even see straight it just felt like stabbing reletlessssss behind my ear like next to my lymph node i was like holy shit im fucked today lol but I took my meds and after being awake for like seven hrs I finally am functioning woooo! I hope the amount I post on here is enough for peoplesss? Idk I’m so self conscious haha and it’s been a rly hard month, next month is gonna be gnarly because it’s celebrating my moms ten years death date for the first time ever with my dad and we’ve never ever grieved before like or talked about anything together so I’m really nervous ahhh Mother’s Day is v hard too and then the week after that she committed suicide so I’m going to try my very best to envelope myself in my art and here as a distraction cause it’s also the first year without drinking I think Last year too but I ate a 300mg edible and got high and passed out lololol this is going to be so wild feeling tho 😕 , just idk haha send good vibes of any kind plssss ❤️🩹😮💨 it sould mean a lot 🥲 and if one goal from this month could be made that would make my whole month, and make me feel like it’s worth it posting here ❤️🩹 the emotional investment put into displaying my life is p hard, so reassurance is always good sometimes hah ❤️🩹 I spill my heart and sometimes too much I think, 😔 but I’m an emotional hooooman and I’m rly proud to be emotional, bc people are dead walls now it seems, no compassion or empathy or care for others Thank you tho guys for being here it does make me feel like my existence has value in a positive way, I hope at least haha 🙏❤️🩹🥰❤️🩹
2022-04-27 20:45:09 +0000 UTC View Post
I go to reply to people and it stops fuckkng. Working again, just loads endlessly and never finishes I can’t even 😣😣😣😣😣😣 sorry guys 😔
2022-04-25 18:18:21 +0000 UTC View Post
Yayyyy i can message people back now, I got to a few last night before of went down for maintence for creators, couldn’t access my inbox lol find a good morning pic in your inbox soon if you’re on auto renew 🥰 oh and idk how I got back up to 5% from 2.8 a couple months ago when I’ve been hella bustin ass is so frustrating lol I hate algorithms 😅😭😭 made this goal and if we can get to 4% by the end of the month I’ll be sending everyone something special in their inbox 🤍❤️🩹🤍 I don’t think any goal was completed this month so that would be rly cool 🥲🥲🥲 Last night I got off cam and had a mental breakdown lol someone in ig said “I miss your old place” and it rly just fucked my mood and total self esteem like yeah me too bro but this is my life now and it doesn’t feel good to know other people are telling me they miss my old life basically 😔 lol and had a bad breakdown on my dad, so we’re going to find therapists (he hasn’t gone to therapy since my mom died so he has ALOT of trauma he doesn’t even know) and has to work on himself first before we can work on each other together But progress is being made with telling each other our boundaries and respect, I found a photo the only pic of me in my dads house and it’s when I was fuxking 14 I set it on his desk as a sign of like okay this drives in the NAIL in that you still look at me like your little girl, you don’t want photos of me NOW how I look up bc ashamed and he tried to deny that but when I told him bout the time he wanted to promote my art on his fb and I had to walk through with him how to block certain people from seeing the post, because he was embarrassed this is his daughter. Proud of my art but not me as a person and after the huge talk and lots of crying and saying things that prob really hurt him, he genuinely apologized for the first time ever for choosing his wife over his daughter for ten years and it was a huge weight lifted that’s all I wanted was admittance of that, and he just couldn’t bc denial and pride. I’m so glad he’s willing to go to therapy tho, he’s my only family my ONLY I don’t talk to anyone any part of my family bc they’re all fuckkng crazy and my parents kept me away from them for a reason and I’m thankful of that. So it’s just up from here, I have alot of trauma to get through and patience because he’s unaware of his actions and I can’t call out every single time bc that would feel like a major attack so we def need a mediator to help with a rational conversation where we don’t interrupt each other lllolol that’s such a problem 😂 I forever appreciate you guys letting me have a space to be open and comfortable abojt it, idk if there’s anyone in here for malicious reasons but if so thanks for your sub 😂🤣😂🤣 everyone I’ve talked to tho has been absolutely wonderful humans, I have finally gotten to the point of enjoying posting and updating because it’s not my diary private public lolol but from now on I think things will be going up from here I just have to get my plants inside ASAP lol I need this wire rack, if anyone snags it for me I’ll send you a Timelapse of me setting up all my plants topless 😂🥰🥰🥰 it’s the first rack 🤍 it’s about tk get too hot to where my plants are going to melt pretty much lol I’m terrified so I need this to be able to have them inside and the spacing and racks are absolutely perfect 😍 Time to reply to everyone and then do plant careeee! Here’s some pix, sone are a year old but I liked them 🥲 https://a.co/aHlvPnB
2022-04-25 17:14:42 +0000 UTC View Post
I’m trying to reply to people but the fuckkng inbox is forever loading and just won’t send anything 😭 I hate when this site glitches and it happens aaaaalot lol So hang tight 27 peeps i need to reply to! Imma go live on here right now! Hehehe and will reply after 🥰 also got the folder ready! Of all content from the start of this year I’ve made hehe (tip $20 if you wanna snag it 🤍) So everyone who tipped I’ll send that out when the site stops being stupid lol thank you so muchh 🥰🥰🥰 hopefully it doesn’t fuck with me on live haha 😂 I can’t even with the drop I just did on my BC haha Viralflowart.bigcartel.con idk how I made this much shit while being this depressed but idk what I would do without my art, it saved my life ❤️🩹 hella update while I’m live!
2022-04-24 22:45:22 +0000 UTC View Post
So bad 😂😂😂 with saying imma brb And never brb lol 🤣🤣 but fuck mannnn it’s been so crazy weird and out of body like rly hard to keep up with things to where I can know I’m not a burden and neither is my shit lol but I have to move like most my plants inside bc summer is about to wreck all of them in arizona And I have no room Absolutely none for them you guys saw 😔 so I kinda had a serious breakdown and just lost it bc I knew it was going to come down to this like okay plants or art Not both I can’t have SOME of my art it’s all or nothing bc my brain works very annoying, I’ll pack something thinking it’ll never get used and then a week later I somehow find something to use it with and get fucked off bc I don’t have it haha but trying to understand how my dad thinks there’s “no room” when his laundry room is huge with empty boxes filling one corner, sone cabinets are completely empty in the bathroo’m and kitchen, a computer desk with nothing on or under it but will argue that THERES NO ROOM I’m getting extremely frustrated because I could have both and be tidy but this irrational sense of what is a priority being here and what he hasn’t touched in years but puts that as the excuse to why there isn’t room it’s super blah feeling and I popped off on him bout it cause like fucj man I’m trying rly hard to compromise and completely having to sacrifice my privacy by living in a fucking living room Idk how long this can go on for 😔 but i have no choice, like most times I’vee gotten displaced from my home Lmfao (there’s been a few times lol) I feel like making a v log ORRRR going live tmrw !!! Sunday from like noon till five he’s out and that’s literally THE ONLY time I have alone time 😔 butt I would love to catch up and figure out how to get my mf plants inside hahaha it’s going to be sk sk so bad esp considering that EVERYTHING is in one room My bed the cats MY ART MY PLANTS I don’t know if I’ll rly be able to art properly again with the cat hair aaaaaaand now fuckkng soil and dirt n shit (and prob flying critters that love to just land in wet stuff lol) EVERYWHRE alll the time cause you know it’s fuckkn inevitable lol 🥺🥺🥺 We need like a. Fuckkkin set goal agh I wish there was a light in this mf tunnel A way out and a date and a plan and something to look forward to with being independent again 😢 i feel so self conscious Have sone weird pics tho lol I hate how one day can be amazing and then the next is just a 180 with feels 😭 I’ll send a good morning dm to all auto renew peeeps when I awaken 😎🥰🥰🥰🥰 thank you for being forever supportive and again reading stupid rants 🥲😅🙏❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
2022-04-24 06:34:18 +0000 UTC View Post
Omg omg omg omg someone dm me if I ever take more than two days off of posting on here, time slips by so fucking fast lately 😅 I HAVE THE MOST AMAZING NEWS THOUGH, Besides the fact that our apt we still lost, just read the email 🥰😎😎 it’s kinda fucked they’re called it a non event now LOL bc it affected people negatively without consequence but this was a fuckjng blessing and once we agreed tk the settlement offer which was pretty ridiculous loaded with damage control “you must retract all statements previously made” Dotnknow how to do that it’s the fucking internet lol 😂 but I agreed said fuck it j wanted this to be done with and I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome (maybe if I hand kept my place but I would have been trapped there I feel lol it was sooooo cheap, and so much bigger and better things are out there I wouldn’t want to even try to find if I was stuck there) AND AND hahahahahaha I won a mf raffle on 4/20!!!! Hahahahha my whole order was compensated 🤣🤣🤣🤣 PARTYYYY I have a smoking vid I have so much to upload and show you guys Lmfao I’ve been doing an insane amount of art bc adhd Meds finally haha it keeps me distracted off my pain tooooooo Okay I’ll be back after I upload some of these to make another post cause I feel like post spamming since I was a ghost for a couple days 🤷♀️😆 I have aboht 20 new things to list 😍 HOW HAS EVERYONE BEEEEEN!!
2022-04-23 02:37:11 +0000 UTC View Post
Oooooo hi 🫶🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 hehe I MADE A HUGE FOLDER! 4gb Of content I’ve made since the beginning of the year! I just have to upload them into a folder and tip $20 if you want it! Cause it’s basically four months of stufff hehehe 😈 ppl that have joined recently too will be getting a message 🥰 and any tips over the past 48 hrs I’ll send you the folder when it’s finished 😍 yesterday was so insane and the day before I had so many errands and appointments down where I used to live which is a 40 min drive lol SO FAR 😭😭😭 but a good friend is coming out here Mother’s Day weekend and I’m not sure if I can handle seeing anyone at that time bc my mom took her life a week after Mother’s Day 😔 TMI? lol deal with it 😆 but may is always always the absolute hardest month on me mentally and it’s going to be so strange to revisit this holiday with my dad bc he was never there or I never got to see him on any Mother’s Day after she died. He likes to push things realllllyyyyy far back in his head and has alot of trauma responses, I’ve been looking up alot about that because I display a tonnnn of them (like I have bad trauma with not replying to someone in time, that’s a big one I need to unfurl) and the mirroring that’s happening with him taking traits from his ex wife it’s BAAAAAD but he is open to go to therapy As he SHOULD omg he’s never gone after my mom died, I honestly think everyone needs fucking therapy lol 😂 Here’s ALLLL new pieces I made over he past three days!!!! And the first three I’m about to upload hehe you guys see them first! I’ve been so busy still trying to stay creative 💖💖💖 I can’t wait to get my fuckjng teeth cleaned and cavities filled bc holy shit I prob have a lot I eat so much sugar 😬 and then Invisalign and then braces, you know I’m totally picking the most obnoxiously bright colors they possibly have for bands 😂😂😂😂
2022-04-19 15:04:56 +0000 UTC View Post
Hehe got to be sneaky and take sone mirror pix 😎🫧 wanted to wish everyone a good morning and weekend!!! NEW PEEPS! over the past few days ah thank ylu so much for wanting to be here! I use this space as a place to just be as open as I feel and not feel judged ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 I have been trying to go live in my head for weeks lol idk when that’ll happen I’m still in a really introverted mindset, esp because my dad works from home and I do not get a break from him allll week and last weekend he took it personal when I told him I needed alone time like bruh just because you picked the most ridiculous wife you could have ever picked to where you lost ten years with me and you’re now alone doesn’t mean that I have the same brain like I CANT HANDLE clingy ness and my dad relies heavily on me emotionally so it’s been very draining 😔 but he’s not charging me rent, which is nice bc I am making like 1/5th of the art I was making at my old place lol 😔 but I’m slowly bringing my paints in here to where he won’t notice until he notices and it’s too late LOL 😆 gonna do a Lisa frank tribute I already started mixing the paint 😁 but I’ll be able to mega save $$$ to where I can pay off whatever debt I will have with the walls at the old place (lmfao they’re gonna fuck us) and then just dip again, maybe out of country def not soon bc this war lol bht my main life goal is europe again, to live there 🥺😍😍 Oh fuck I just remembered I HAVE to clean my phone Theres 11,000 pics and vid’s hahahahah but that means I’ll have a folder made of everhthing I’ve posted over the last few months or taken and haven’t posted 😏report back later with the folder ready mwahaha 😈 I heart you guys so much it was rly nice waking up and seeing some new peeps, and I have messages to reply to so just know I’m not ever ignoring you on purpose! The unpredictability with my life rn causes me to be rly non consistent but I am so surprised at myself for keeping up with this haha I passed the point of no return in my head now FINALLY on here, I mean by that like it’s no longer hard work for me tk post anymore and I look forward to it, even if it’s just a huge rant haha knowing you guys are here and care means so so mhch 🥰
2022-04-16 16:06:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Finally put makeup on! It’s been a couple months 🫣 I make posts at the most random times xD I hope you guys enjoy my unpredictability but I’m pretty sure not being consistent is a bad thing 🙃😂😂 I’ll get back to everyone when I wake up again! Currently 4:52 omgomg and I totally said fuck it and went half with my bestie on the new tent! Maybe I already said that I can’t remember lolol hut it cameeeee and took me and my 70yr old dad two hrs to figure it out because you’re talking about two people who have the same brain and one is just senile 🤣🤣🤣 I can’t even lolol Didn’t get a pic of it yet but I will when it gets light outside!!! 😊😊 I’m getting my teeth cleaned soon ! I can’t tell you how excited and terrified I am lol cause they have to knock me out to clean them, so idk how they’re going to be moving my jaw and prying open my mouth when I’m asleep and I do not wanna know how it’ll feel when shit wears off cause I know they’re gonna extend it past my capable reach without extreme pain when I’m asleep 😬 I fucking painted too! My very first time using a completely different ingredient for my cells and it workedddd! 😍😍 I love being able to share the deeeeetails details here cause i want you to feel exclusive cause you’re alll fuckkng awesome 🥲🥰🥰🥰 shown is a textured piece I’m working onnnn you guys see if fjrst hehe This is my halfway thru the month goal! And if any of you want to help my self medicating ❤️🩹❤️🩹 I’ll be sending a spicy dm to everyone who wants to help out ❣️ 😊🤭😎💘💘 def the most expensive part of my life is controlling my pain 😭 and kratom is the ONLY thing that directly targets my pain that I have, since docs lie n me and tell me I can’t have an opioid script with a benzo script and excuse me yes you can lol my friend has had both for years without issue, just painkillers make me SUPER Immmobile and I’m slightly allergic to them until I develop a tolerance to be able to function, it’s wild i get super itchy (I know that’s a side affect but to the point where I was scratching skin off bc i was so itchy) and even when I eat prior I have constant nausea but it goes away after consecutive uses, but opiates and opioids are the two things I never NEVER want to develop a dependency to, so I don’t even ask anymore for help with pain and just have to go to this dope hippie shop in college town and they have the best kratom I’ve ever had, but it’s def pricey 😭 whywhywhywhy is pain management something the person dealing with it has to fuckkng pay for lol I can’t even with our government and I know a ton of countries aren’t any better but the healthcare in America can absolutely suck it lmfao I finally am settled now that I feel secure with this bed tent I slept so good finally 😌 I hope 🤞 everyone has had a good week so farrrr! I’m stoked to have this bulkshit over with with the eviction as well, I told you that we got a settlement offer? Pls tell me if I said that so I don’t repeat gahahaha but we took the offfer yesterday and there’s so many paragraphs explaining to not talk shit about them and to erase and retract ALL PAST STATEMENTS I was like yeah okay I’m not deleting SHIT there’s a whole fb group for that complex it’s filled with complaining about her and the company lol DAMAGE CONTROL fuck people so hard. I also can’t sue later for anything and I def was going tk so they made that thing to where we can’t stick up for ourselves but BUTT the eviction judgment gets waived and they promise also to not talk shit about us to potential new places So that’s ultimately what we wanted. Signed it yesterday and felt a huge weight lift bc no eviction, everything is neutral with this cept…. I lost my home still. It’s so fucked that they can be like OOPSIES landlord did a bad and just take back everything and make it okay again but we still had to move out and uproot our lives and that’s just 😐😐😑😑 to me I appreciate everyone who reads all of my rants 🤣🤣 maybe I’ll go live today on here agh I’m just constantly around my dad cause he works from home lol so I’ll put dividers up and do some art with you guys while flashing my boobies 🤣🤣🤣
2022-04-15 12:15:04 +0000 UTC View Post
! I’ve been meaning to make this video of how I have to smoke 😂😂😂 got dat air freshener onn the end but the size of it 😅😅😅 I saw my ortho today and hellla updates so this is the first appointment beeded to start everything, and ugh It’s bout $9000 for this first part which consists of invasalign for six months and then braces 😖😖😖😖😖 shit is going to be so painful I’m rly scared cause I have a feeling I am gonna like rip them off or something out of a panic in pain lol I’ve done sone wack shit when I’m in pain i can’t think straight and can see myself doing that🤣🤣🤣😭😭 then it’s the lefort where they have to detach my top jaw fron my skull then j still need to have ortho work done and then the fuckkkng total joint replacement I’m gonna die ⚰️ 😓😓 Any words of feel good or whatever is appreciated🥺, I’m rly dreading this and the psychological crap it’s gonna put me through if more pain comes from this first part cause I’m just so tired rn 😴 I was like curled up yesterday in a ball cryin all day having a rly bad mental depression bc I didn’t have my meds and my jaw felt like it was 2929839282 wrapped around my head so swollen so that’s where I was yesterday ahhh haha I rly appreciate everyone who still be here, it’s hard to keep up right now but if I skip a day I lose a ton of peeps and consistency is so key for me to keep, but thank you everyone for chillen still and reading all my bullshjt 😅😘🥰🥰🥰 it means so so much to me ❤️🩹❤️🩹
2022-04-12 02:34:58 +0000 UTC View Post
Faceeeeeeeeeeee After crying all morning 🤣 I like taking post cry pics is that just me? Lmfao but when I look at them in the future I know exactly what happened the time I took that pic because I can tell in my eyes, it’s creepy but cool haha maybe I can read other peoples pasts through their eyeballs 😅
2022-04-09 20:39:53 +0000 UTC View Post
Heyyyyyyy!!! So many obstacles i had yesterday with things I couldn’t get a chance to even look at my social media besides listing one thing xD I have half a pill left for My pain management and they won’t refill till Monday bc I had to switch pharmacies so it’s gona be a rough ass weekend 😋 🥳🙃😒 lol but sending a msg to my auto renews rn and if I didn’t get back to ylur newest one i shall still! Bare with me this weekend I might just be a super lazy sloth who still can socialize and update on here or ima go into a hidey hole of pain 😬 This def is not a good situation I’m in rn tho with my dad like I love him so much but he’s extremely controlling I haven’t been able to focus on getting anything done properly because I’ve had to watch out for literally picking up every single crumb and thing after myself like I do not do that AS I LIVE…I clean when I clean And when I told him yesterday there’s so many rules I’m trying my hardest to go by them like ten times harder than I ever have had to work on being this clean or ANYONE for that matter, it’s idiosyncrasies he has that are unrealistic for someone in chronic pain to be doing and I’m sweeping and mopping and cleaning 24/7 when I do not have to be doing thjs but I am trying SO HARD it’s bringing me alot of pain and hasn’t alllwed me to so much in the way of like the art I’ve been wanting to do His response to me cleaning more than my body wants to let me was “GOOD” Like seriously 😐 I’m even more into a hole now mentally where it’s even harder for me to talk to who i care about and reply 😔 I’m sorry guys, I’m def trying my best n hardest tho but I never feel like I’m doing enough or am good enough and now I know where that comes from.. 😬 if you’re ever wondering why you do and are certain ways just look back at your childhood and the answer will be screaming in your face lol 😆 For now all I can do is try to just get that bed tent for privacy, any of some kind because I’m sleeeping in the middle of the living room and woke up one morning to him just standing over me and it rly wigged me the fuck out 😖 and I guess so plant care today oh omgggg you guys have to see this dope piece I did! I poured it backwards so I had no idea how it was gonna turn out until I popped it out of the mold hehe tribute to Trevor Brown! OH! I found my prints too! Hehe I have four? Five? I’ll confirm that 🤣 if you tip $50 and send me your address I will get a signed print to you 🥰
2022-04-09 14:30:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Ahhhh LOOK At THIS SHIT 😯 and ylu guys see first what ive made over the last week Woooo !!!! I need to get fast setting resin bc I have to keep top coating my molds after taking them out cause they’re not getting as shiny as I want anymore 😭 ❤️🩹🥰 I have a lot of messages to reply to I crashed so bad after not taking my adhd meds yesterday lol xD gonna try to post a lot on here this week/weekend! New, vault stuff, random whatever I want haha I need to make this place my priority bc Instagram keeps silencing me and shadow banning 😔 like okay Lmfao anyone have cool weekend planssssss???? I’ll be sending a message to all peeps who have their auto renew on cause fucking extra thank you so much for wanting to continue supporting me, I’ve no clue where those prints went in my last post haha shit 🤣 I’m finally settled I guess? I need a bed tent or something like this because we got those dividers and I woke up to them crashed on all my art supplies 😔 so only can use one and need something else so I have some kind of privacy I’m so in the open and can’t rly have a peaceful sleep cause in the back of my head I have a weird feeling I’m being watched 😣😣 I hate it lol if someone gets it I’ll take all the hot pics inside of it with dope lighting cause ILL HAVE PRIVACYY 😅 only place I can take nudes rn is the bathroom lololol Posting a vault vid soon! The preview on ig but the whole thing here bc bc bc 😎😎😎 https://a.co/6aLNXv3 I just put it on my art wishlist haha cause I have an art and plant but no house stuff wishlist 😂 I’ll be packing and shipping all orders today too!!!!! Starting right meow so this will be a 14 hr work day for me lol love you guys 🥰
2022-04-07 19:55:59 +0000 UTC View Post
Pre shower pix 💖 Feeling rly low today, I explained something wrong to someone I respected and got called shallow, so I’m not taking it too well bc that’s the last thing I ever am and know That in my heart, so it shouldn’t bother me but since I respect them it does hah And constant head butting with my dad rn isn’t helping sk we’re finding a family therapist Made somerly cool stuff I can’t wait to showe you guys after I sand them ❤️🩹 I hope you guys have a good day today I’ll post a vault vid soon xx
2022-04-05 19:10:44 +0000 UTC View Post
You guys wanna see something interesting alot of models don’t show you or when they do it’s to brag? Lolol so the month of September2020 was my high point on here and then as you can see, I stopped posting aaaaaaalot And let a lot of peeps go, but since getting sober and being able to be fuckkng consistent with something for the first time everrrrrrrr!!! It feels rly good and not forceddd anymore and like you guys are genuinely here for me in a caring person to person way, you don’t objectify me on here and I don’t feel unsafe like how I did when I cammed, can’t tell you how many times 4chan b tard armies would come and invade my room almost every single time I went live after that infamous show I did on Mfc with…. The babieee 😂😂😂 but got doxxed SEVERAL TIMES, My addresses and phone numbers and my dads It was fuckjng scary You can’t ban people on there they just come back on a diff IP and troll LOL hereeeeeeee tho, if you wanna be an ASSHOLE you have to pay 🤣 so that’s why it’s easy for me to be open here cause no one rly wants to pay a sub to someone they hate to just see a shit ton of words 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 that are all over the place good and bad because OMG NO WAY IM HUMAN? 😂 How was everyone’s weekend? Did anyone do anything dope? Go out of town? Finally got settled and will be replying to messages today hellaabd starting the packing and shipping process hehe (get an order in for 30% off with code MYPEEPS, only YOU GUYS can see this code xD) I had a huge cat hair problem and had to rearrange everything, taking out the futon and just sleeping on my foam topper and roll it up everyday and enclose myself because I can’t do any art if my cats are hanging and sleeping I the same room basically they get pet and groom each other 😑🤣 CAT HAIR FREE ZONE AGAIN 💪 see the last pic 😍 Can’t wait to show you guys the resin pieces I’m working on! Doing a dope crushed velvet technique using plastic wrap cause it’s resistant to resin! So I’ll post a peel back video bc satisfying 🤤 posting a free drive link soon on here for everyone who doesn’t have it! Idk what it’ll be yet but def a folder of SPICE 😎😎
2022-04-04 18:21:52 +0000 UTC View Post
Edit: have to add more pics to this post, just doing more to this green ink pieceeeeeeee getting lost innittttt haha Did I ever post theseeeeee? lolz I think i left them at my place, i got i think four of them? Will send for $100 tip, signed, and kissed hehehe (US peepzzz! unless u wanna pay for international shippppinggg haha) my old roommate is squatting there at the old place hahahah we feel like they gonna do something SKETCH so, like on the 26th we got a settlement offer, most likely cuz they saw how STUPID it was to go thru a whole eviction process when our lease literally ended that same month lol, it was to "vacate judgment" amongst other things, like waiving my right to talk shit about them if they promise to do the same lol but i was rushed to fire our shitty lawyer, just to have Jesse take him back to be able to take this settlement....but now they arent responding to us, we had questions about things that needed clarification that was like lawyer speak, just needed him to tell us in terms we knew like a fucking human lol but ofc they DID NOT respond back, so jesse thinks they up to something sketchy, cause on the settlement it said we had to be out by the 31st at 5pm, i was there and nothin happpened lol but we paid rent for this month to the court, and ill be back over there tomorrow to get remaining shit, but IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF LOL I totally got ALL my resin/molds/pigment pastes, collage shit, all my crackle mediums and texture pastes, aAAANNnnNDDDD a box of MINI AS FUCK paint tubes, along with my pouring mediums mixed together in a squirt bottle and brought white/black base paint LOL I already convinced him to smoke inside, u guys shooould see ill post vid lol, he wanted me to go outside to my car every fucking time i wanted to smoke and i told him how like NOT SAFE that is compared to smoking in your home, in terms of getting caught and he agreed because fucking duh LOL but i have this HUGE TUBE with a drier sheet on the other end and blow thru it, dopest high school hack EVAR ahahhaha I legit got ALLLALllLLL my plants too, thats the only thing my dad complimented me on was how nice it looked, but hes freaking about the amount of stuff i have even when he cant see it, and he totallly crossed a boundary and cleaned inside of my space when i was gone and i legit snapppepeeeddd on him and was like I AM 30 NOT 13, YOU LOST ALL THOSE YEARS and that struck him enuff to def wake him up at least about that, how he needs to trust me and its my space, my ability to keep it clean etc . just hoping that i get more fucking spaceeeeeee i def am on eggshelklllsss timez a million O.o bc i wouldn't the controllllllll tho is pretty bad, like very very bad. and Her is a very engulfing person, consuming when hes not working he has nothing to do and i knew this was gonna happen cause i was phone call with him everyday for like at least 2 hrs i had to put aside knowing my dad would call and like just completely consume me AT LEAST 2 hrs a day, and i was okay with it because I know hes lonely, and needs someone to talk to, we missed twelvee somethin yeaaarsssssss to be able to have a relationship, his fault with that and the guilt he holds is insane, he treats me like a childdddd bc he didnt know how to treat me as I got older, so alotttttttt of controlling PARENTAL feelings, of being watched and followed around and picked up after, it really fucks me the fuck off and yeah i cant get ANYTHING done when hes around bc i feel like he is suffocating. It needs to be addressed but in a therapy environment, which i need a new therapist lol fuck the one i hadddd she did and said absolutely NOTHING their entire time every session, and it was so awkward feeling like i knew she didnt like me and was just waiting for each session to be over so i said fuck dis and now need to find a new one lmao BUTTTTT ortho appointment coming up! i might need braces before any surgery and i cant even imagine how painful that will be, like putting more shit in my mouth before fixing anything with it, oh mah gah. ity gets to me sometimes thinking about it haha but i am SO HAPPYyYYyY that im finally settled and think that awkward feel will go away soon, i just need to get engulfed in my art, but holy fucking CAT HAIR loooool imma bout to do resin and will be picking shit out for an hr because my bed is literally right in front of my work area, and my cats just sit there alllll day lololol i cant wait tho bc the lighting is AMAZEBALLS, this window is north facing and absolutely perfect for recording, i cant wait honestly to record ANY art, and imma utilize youtube finally i think hehe OKAY THIS IS A NOVEL! but hella updateeteteteteee! I will wait the six months to reapply, for the art space... I was extremely sad but this will give me time to prep and SAVE AHHHHHH YOPU GUYSSSSSSSSS, if i get like 30k saved, i am so moving back to Europe and doing it again PROPERLY LOL, this country is not for me and experiencing other places def i know that in my heart i belong NOT HERE lol after this war....which has been devastating to follow but eye opening to how brutal people can be and how resilient people can be...SLAVA UKRAAINNEEE! Here is an amazing mix of Ukrainian artists i found today <3 https://soundcloud.com/darkheartrecordings/uamix Lemme know if anyone is new and hasnt gotten a message from me yetttt! I have had alot to catch up on, on like every platform cause how consssuuuuumed ive been and unpack and decompress after my cat gave me a fucking heart attack too looool HOW IS EVERYONENENNENEN!??????? It means alot to me if you got this far :'3
2022-04-03 07:23:56 +0000 UTC View Post<3 P o R N ;P gonna do an update after i utilize this time for da SUNnNnNNNNNN to be out, because holy shit the lighting for where my art table is iszzz amazingggggg, the window is YUGEEEE, im 90% there with setting up and organizing (apologize for typos i fucking hate this keyyboard and dgaf about spell checkin LOL) I def looking more positive bout things now after my dad chilled the FUCK out lmao im like the dopest Tetris organizer ever so he woke up to like everything missing off the floor that was giving him a panic attack (rly its just vertically stacked haha) Cant wait to set up some L:ED strips in here so i can have some dope ass lighting for the night time <3 Thank you guys for bein here n bein coool as fuck, i have some peeps to get back to, thank u for bein patient durin this chaotic ass time, i cant tell you how much i appreciate it :'3
2022-04-01 20:54:37 +0000 UTC View Post
My heart is fucking broken into bits and pieces rn I emailed them last night saying wtf do I do I didn’t know this was a requirement by the 18th of March Yes I can still apply in the fall But that’s just another six months I have to be without my passion 😔 I’m rly torn apart dude like I don’t know what the fuck why wouldn’t this be included anywhere on the site besides the last sentence of the last page on the website Right at the top it says “do you want to live here” I clicked and paid the $100 deposit assuming it was to hold my place to be one of the first artists No it’s one of the first paying residents Starting rate is $1800 a month I of course will reapply in the fall but I can’t stop crying I was so excited and ready to share my art and life and be open and honest, I knew I would have gotten in too I guess I put too much hope into something without reading the fine print although this should have been clarified to me 😔 cause yeah now six more months at my dads not able to feel comfortable like myself, having to censor and filter myself constantly, j can’t even say Jesus Christ or goddamnit Without him flipping out I’m already being controlled with wearing socks around the house 24/7 bc my feet are always dirty bc IM A FUCKING ARTIST the level of control and eggshells I’m walking on here is insane and this is only day four. He wants me to clean the shower after every time and I can’t do that on my hands and knees with my pain so like I haven’t even showered yet here, sorry not sorry if that’s gross but that’s the level of eggshells I’m on, I don’t wanna touch anything
2022-03-30 17:20:38 +0000 UTC View Post
I can’t even describe the exhaustion besides boobs LOL and I am pretty much set up! It’s v uncomfortable because my dad has yet to set up the dividers bc I had to unpack But some of you may have seen my fucking cat went missing for a whole day and I thought I was going crazy heard her thru the wall and she ended up being inside the liner of the futon I was on all day and night I can’t fuckkng EVEN LOL so I’m like a day and a half behind with life right now 😂😂😂 Pls forgive ahhh!!! I will be sending an awesome folder of stuffs to all the new peeps and peeps that came back and resubbed! In the morning, cause I can barely keep one eye open typing 🤣 but it was imperative to tell you guys I’m OKAYYY! My cat is okay and my plants got here safe too, but yeah rly fucking need privacy and if he doesn’t set it up first thing in the morning I am lol I’m bringing my HUGE mirror 🪞 that has been in my green bedroom this whole time and I couldn’t use it because ot was such a terrible color for a wall I picked omg 😂 every photo was garbage in that room and I spent so long on it like months I remember lol to never go in it 🤣 but this feels cozy here and this window is rly huge! My art table is right under it so imma film my first thing tomorrow but I have that zoom meeting with that 6month artist living space tmrw and literally just saw on their site I needed to submit a resume and letter of intent and portfolio (which I sent them, just wanted my site) but LETTER LFNINTENT? Resume? Uuhhhhh 🤣 read the last photo, I have no clue how to write you guys 🤣 if you can think of anything valuable that I could put, pls comment! Cause I need something written by tomorrow lol they never gave me an email nor told me about this either so I’m like what the fhck lol 😆 HOW IS EVERYONEEE!!! I will get back to messages all in the morning, I’m sorry thank you for being so patient 🥲🥲
2022-03-30 06:57:43 +0000 UTC View Post
Gah I lost 60 of you guys 😔 on here in two days Idk did I do something wrong ? Never lost that many people in two days fack that feels blah 😿 Sent a message to all as a thank you for still being hereee because I’m relying on this atm to help keep me afloat 🤕 I don’t even know how I’m able to post right now because I’m so overwhelmed with thjngs but if I don’t post for a day this is what happens lol I’m so tired of never feeling like I have stability 😔 I put a goal, not expecting to reach it, but it’s really fucking appreciated ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 all tips will get a dm and I’ll be replying back to current messages when I get home from errands, I’m so overwhelmed 😢😢
2022-03-25 19:34:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Oh my godddddddddddddd!!!!!!!! So Be prepared for something amazing in your inbox, if you are a fan of my performance art, and the collabs i did with Inside Flesh, you gonna def need this one 😈 here’s some stills hehe Finally have new content! That isn’t rly new but new to everyone haha 😎
2022-03-23 23:04:34 +0000 UTC View Post
You guys see first what I just listed 🥰😋 Viralflowart.bigcartel.com That heart took me two weeks 🤣 I just kept doing other shit getting distracted haha but I rly love how it turned out , and the layers you can see on the side like a cut geode 😍 Oh! And I just got storage!!! So the moving process can begin hehe it literally is coincidentally ROGHT across the street from that place I applied for LOL 😂 perf location tho whenever I have to go to the art store I can hit it up! It’s just $147 a month bc climate controlled 😅 so hopefully not many months lol but I’ll put a goal for it each month and if you wanna contribute I’ll totally cyber hug and kiss the fuck out of youuu 😚
2022-03-23 02:46:33 +0000 UTC View Post
You guys see first my bell bottoms I dyed 😛 I now have three pairs of overalls, and four pairs of pants dyed and I don’t need that many so I need you guys to help me edit which ones to sell and keep hahaha that’ll be the next post 🥰 omgomg and I went to the place to see how far along it’s being built and I IMMEDIATELY STARTED JUST CRYING lolol only time that’s ever happened was when I found paint pouring for the first time, it’s such a crazy intense feeling I got and I need all the manifesting in the universe right now for this pleaseeeeeeeee bc having the potential with my art and how I look and how I am the definition of a starving artist LOL I NEED this. 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
2022-03-22 19:55:57 +0000 UTC View Post
A pvc fit I found while packing 😜 was gonna ppv this but I have been so busy and not able to update on here so here ya go 😋🥰 Gonna go check out that place rn that’s being built thag I applied for! The six month free car free art community heh its next to my art store and I never even noticed but was like why the fuck is there so much construction lol 😂 Oh and I got several prints made imma show you when I get back! 😍 just for you guys to nab if you want one 😚
2022-03-22 17:04:30 +0000 UTC View Post
Oh and LOL AT COSTCO FOR PRINTING THIS 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆 which company owns Costco??? Lol I got lucky that some perv was the one printing This was an order on my site, and half the time I’ve tried to order this print I’ve gotten noped so hard 🤣 so idk if I wanna offer it and keep forgetting to take it down as an option but imma try to get like ten printed and see what Happens Lmfao
2022-03-20 19:56:54 +0000 UTC View Post